Don't Cry Out
by Lollirotxox
Summary: Then I smelt it. His scent,mixed with hers in the most horrible way.I had never felt an anger such as what exploded from me just then,and I had never run so fast in my existence.I reached the door I knew she was behind,fearing I was too late to save her.
1. Chapter 1: Shattered

**Authors Note**: Hello! This story is going to be very long, and has many different twists. See, I've read many stories of Bella being raped by either Mike or the men in Port Angeles, but never one quite like this. I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or anything by Stephanie Meyer.

**_Warning_: This story has a graphic rape scene in the first chapter. Extremely graphic, and some things that are absolutely horrible, but necessary. If you're sensitive to things like this, skip to the part of this chapter after the giant line.**

* * *

_"...Hunting you, I can smell you, alive_

_Your heart pounding in my head..."_

_"...I know you're still there_

_Watching me, wanting me_

_...raping me..._

_I can feel you pull me down..."_

-Haunted, by Evanescence.

"No, I don't understand. Well, I suppose we should get on with it. And then I can call your friends and tell them where to find you, and my little message."

My heart suddenly started pounding as hard as I've ever felt, urging me to survive.

I turned on my heel and tried to run, but James appeared before me and threw me back into the mirror, feeling it crack beneath my body, then shatter upon me as I fell to the ground. I felt the skin on my back burn, it had to be cut up badly, because I felt blood dripping onto my sides.

"That's a very nice effect. I thought this room would be visually dramatic for my little film. That's why I picked this place to meet you. It's perfect, isn't it?" James weightless voice reached my ears, causing another wave of panic to ripple through me. I was so stupid for coming here, so unbelievably stupid. I tried to crawl to the door, in an attempt I knew would be in vain. A blood-curdling scream left my lips, as a sickening crack echoed and I felt my leg completely shatter with so little effort from him as he stepped on it. "Would you like to rethink your last request? Wouldn't you rather have Edward try to find me?"

My heart skipped a beat. No, never. I would never want Edward to be hurt because of me. My breathing starting picking up, my eyes closed and I had never experienced pain like the pain emitting from my shattered leg. "No! No, Edward, don't!" I screamed in an agonized voice, tears falling. I opened my eyes, right in time to see something blurred coming straight at me and suddenly I was flung against the mirrors again, and the mirrors somehow managed to shatter over me even more. A sensation similar to a thousand daggers stabbing me repeatedly in the back of my head was arising, but at that moment I felt something tighten against my throat, hauling me off the ground. I opened my eyes dazedly, looking into James' horrible crimson colored ones.

"Well...that's no fun." He sounded like a pouting child, and it almost made me sick. "I'll just have to make your death so horrible, he'll be so enraged as to not care what you say, now won't I?"

"No...Edward..." I sobbed, my shoulders beginning to shake. James slapped me, and my jaw ached. Holding me up by the neck, James dragged me over to the mirror, holding me up against it with my legs two feet off the ground, my broken one hanging at an awkward angle. This was it. He was going to kill me, I would never see my Edward again.

And then, at one simple motion from James, I realized it wasn't over.

James used his nails to slice open my shirt, uncaring of slicing my skin as well. My eyes almost popped out of their sockets as I realized exactly what was about to happen. I started screaming and tried to kick with my good leg, but as soon as it collided with him, I felt a bone-chilling pain shoot up it, and sobbed in agony.

This just excited James more, as he ripped the two halves off, discarding them. I was expecting him to make it fast, and get my pants off next.

I was wrong.

He began running his tongue over my throat, making a sound that could be classified as purring, but such a description could never be given to such a vicious creature. As he did this, his free hand slithered beneath my bra cup, rubbing the skin there roughly, before pinching my nipple harshly, making me shriek. The feel of his tongue and hands on my skin repulsed me, and my body tensed, ignoring the pain momentarily and my arms, which I suddenly remembered I had, started flailing. He gave a low chuckle, and used his free hand to pin my arms above my head. It was pathetic how easy this was for him.

His licks slowly moved down towards the mounds of my breasts, and I squeezed my eyes shut. My stomach was churning, and this seemed so surreal. He trailed back up, and laughed softly in my ear, a sick, soulless sound. He removed his hand from my neck, now holding me up by my pinned arms, and I hardly noticed the pain shooting up from my shoulder blades. I felt pain almost everywhere, what did a few more spots matter?

"Edward..." I moaned, hoping by some miracle he would show up. But I knew he wouldn't, and regretted my words as James chuckled darkly once again.

"Your precious boyfriend won't be coming. He has no idea where you are, Bella. You are mine." A growl left James' throat, and he resumed feeling my body. I ignored it as much as I could, losing track of how long he did this for. I felt his hand slide down my stomach, and I shuddered, but not from pleasure. From disgust. Disgust at this horrible creature for doing this to me, disgust at myself for putting myself in this situation..."Tell me Bella, have you done this before?"

I clenched my jaw closed. I would not give him the satisfaction of an answer, the satisfaction of know that as well as claiming my life, he was claiming my innocence. I would not cry out for this monster.

He remained calm, and the hand on my stomach dug its nails sharply into my ribs, dragging them forward to create four long marks. I gritted my teeth as I felt the warm blood spill down my sides. The smell didn't nauseate me, now. I still would not answer.

He snarled, and reached down with the hand that had been caressing my stomach and gripped my leg. I howled in pain, giving in and screaming out the answer.

"No!"

"Good. Then this will enrage Edward even more." James smiled in a sick, sadistic way that made my stomach tighten, and then my pants were ripped to shreds, jostling my leg in the process. My repetitive, futile screams, were starting to wear on even my own ears. James cackled, and shoved his hand down my white lace panties, slipping a finger between my folds.

If I thought I had felt sickened before, it was nothing like this. I heaved, as if to throw up, but it wouldn't come. He wasn't doing this in an attempt to please me. Instead, my movements made James' finger slide down more, and after a few more seconds that felt like an eternity of feeling me, he forced a finger into the last place I expected. It would've been bad if he had prodded at my vaginal entrance, but this was plain humiliating, painful and degrading. He was so sick. Tears began pouring harder.

"Do you think Edward will enjoy seeing this, his cherished little Bella, with another vampire's finger in her most improper place?" James' voice was filled with sadistic pleasure, and he curled his finger inside the hole, ripping the skin and making me scream horribly. He pulled it out, and wiped it on his pants. "Well, at least you were clean."

I bawled. Not only was he raping and killing me, he was humiliating me, and Edward was going to see it...

"Are you ready, Bella? This will not be pleasant." James whispered excitedly, stroking my cheek. I bite my lip, and began to shake and cry harder. I started picturing Edward, my beautiful Edward. Sparkling in the meadow, grinning that crooked grin I loved so much, looking at me with such love in his topaz eyes, and the last time we'd kissed, the passion, love and desperation behind it. I focused on that, remembering the dizzying feeling over and over... Feeling his gentle, cold hands on my face...

Then I felt cold hands that weren't so gentle and didn't give me tingles. They were spreading my legs, not bothering to be gentle about my broken one.

Then, suddenly, I was being ripped in two.

I had no idea when James had even unzipped his pants, or when he'd pulled my panties off. All I was aware of was the burning, ripping feeling I felt between my legs and inside of me, and I shuddered and screamed louder than I'd ever screamed in my life, as I felt the skin inside of my rip and bleed. I kept screaming. He began thrusting.

My sobs continued, until my throat was too raw to even scream anymore, so I began whimpering, and dry sobbing. My skin crawled, I felt dirty, filthy, used, worthless...But I knew it would only last for so long, before I felt nothing at all. And all I could do was pray that time would come soon, because it would be better than this. This evil, sick creature stealing something from me that was meant to be given in love, that should've been Edwards...I sobbed again.

James began pushing harder against me, and panted in my ear, licking it slightly. I knew he was only doing that to revolt me, and it worked. He laughed, his nails digging into my wrists where he held me up, and his free hand returned to my neck, while the one that was holding my wrists released them. They dropped limply against the mirrors. I was past fighting, past resisting. It was over. I'd given in, and decided to just let him have his way. My head lulled to the side, and I hung limp like a rag doll.

His newly freed hand moved to lift one of my wrists, bringing it to his mouth and sinking his teeth into it. He began sucking the blood from my veins, and though the pain was unbelievable, I felt relief. The darkness was starting to creep in. It was almost over, Edwards perfect, angelic face flashed before my eyes one last time...

And right as I was about to give in to the darkness that was trying to envelop me, I heard the most delightful sound I think I've ever heard.

A beautiful, enraged snarl that I recognized.

And then everything went black.

* * *

(_Edwards Point of View_)

I was so close, so unbelievably close. I could smell her, my lovely Bella, near by. I followed that scent like a hound on a trail, refusing to give up. I heard Alice gasp behind me, but I was too preoccupied with my own thoughts to focus on hers. So close...

And then I smelt it. His scent, mixed with hers in the most horrible way...

I had never felt an anger such as what exploded from me just then, and I had never run so fast in my existence. I reached the door I knew she was behind, the fear that I was too late and what I would find gripping me...

And what I saw multiplied my fury to impossible amounts, at the same time my still heart shattered where I stood. I only needed to look for a split second before the sight registered in my mind. Bella, my poor Bella, forced up against the mirrors, held by her throat and hanging limp, lifeless and naked except her white bra, one leg hanging in an impossible way. James, thrusting into her and drinking from her wrist, while the mirrors surrounding provided ten slightly different angles of this view.

I snarled, louder than ever, and was next to them in a flash. James didn't even realize what had hit him by the time I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back, sinking my teeth into his throat and, literally, ripping it out, spitting the dead flesh to the ground, shaking in rage. How fucking dare he touch my Bella! (1)

Bella...

Throwing James behind me where I knew Jasper and Emmett were, I caught her, using my vampiric abilities, before she slid to the ground. Panic seized me as I realized her heartbeat, usually pounding tauntingly in my ears, was barely audible. I sank to the ground as she would have, kneeling with her broken body over my lap. I had one arm behind her back, the other cradling her head to my chest. I didn't care that it was inappropriate for me to be so close because she was unclothed, or that the rest of my family would see her this way. My hand stroked her cheek, praying to a god I didn't think would even listen, for her to open her eyes. "Oh no, Bella, no!" My voice, usually so collected, cracked with sobs, horror and raw pain, and my body began shaking, my frenzy momentarily forgotten.. "Bella, please! Bella, listen to me, please, please, Bella please! Carlisle! Bella, oh please, no!"

My sobs continued, even when her eyes opened. "Ed...ward?" Her voice sounded raw and scared, like she'd screamed herself hoarse. I knew she had.

"Bella, I'm here, I'm right here. I love you, Bella, please hang on..." I clutched her a little tighter to me, unable to help myself, but still being cautious of the strength I used, and felt her body begin to shake. I felt something shift next to me, and looked to see my father. "Help her, please Carlisle, help her," I managed to choke out. If could cry, myself and Bella would be soaked.

Carlisle quickly took off his jacket, handing it to me as he began to examine her without touching her. My dry sobs never ceasing, I used the hand cradling her head to arrange Carlisle's coat over her breasts and hips, trying to avoid looking at the same time as trying to cover her. My hand went straight back to cradling her, and I looked down into her eyes while Carlisle finished his examination.

Her eyes held torment, relief, love, fear and pain. The fear was the most apparent, and her lower lip began to tremble. My body ached as hers did, every cold inch of it. "Bella..."

"Edward, don't let him touch me, please...don't...no more..."

Before I could answer her, Carlisle spoke. "Edward, don't touch her leg, it's broken." I howled in anguish at his words, and at the terrified look in Bella's eyes. "Some ribs too, I think. Her head is bleeding, I need to stop that before anything. I'm sure her...I'm sure she's quite injured other places, but I'll examine those in a more private place."

"Edward..." Bella moaned, eye squeezing shut in pain while tears leaked from them like a faucet. My chest contracted in spasms of pain. Seeing her like this was causing me so much emotional torment, I was almost on the same level of pain as she. I just wanted to comfort her, to tell her she was safe now, but I was scared of hurting her more than she already was.

"Bella, you're going to be fine. Can you hear me? I love you." I spoke the truest words I could think of, and she whispered my name once more. "Yes, I'm here."

Bella continued weeping silently. "It hurts...Everywhere, it hurts so bad...He...He..."

"I know, Bella, I know." I told her, looking to Carlisle in desperation, not wanting to hear her speak the words of what James had done to her. I wasn't sure even of everything he had done to my poor angel, I only saw the end. What I was sure of, was that I could not bear for her to suffer another second. "Do something Carlisle, please..."

"Alice, could you hand me my bag please? Hold your breath, it will help." Carlisle spoke softly, not wanting to alarm Bella, and being a medical professional he had to keep his head. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Alice obey quickly, and Carlisle began to work on Bella's head injuries.

"My hand hurts..." Bella whimpered, and my chest contracted again.

"I know, Bella, Carlisle will numb it in a moment, just please hold on..."

Bella body started convulsing, and her eyes snapped open. "My hand is burning! It's on fire!"

"Bella?" I asked, confused. Her hand? Out of all of the parts on her body that were injured, her hand? I lifted the hand in question, seeing the wound there. My eyes widened in horror. I had forgotten James had been drinking from her, and now his venom was in her...Turning her as we spoke, forcing her through pain and torment beyond imagination. "Carlisle, her hand!"

Carlisle looked, and knew right away. "He bit her."

"Oh god..." I moaned. She was dying in my very arms, and as she began screaming about her arm being on fire, I felt dizzy.

"There is one thing that may work, Edward..."

"What!?" I heard the anxious, hopefulness in my voice. Anything, anything but this...

"See if you can suck the venom out of her bloodstream. The wound is fairly clean. I don't know for sure if it will work, but we have to hurry."

I froze. He wanted me to suck the venom out, and drink her blood...Her sweet, singing blood that called to me so fiercely... "Carlisle, I-I don't know if I can do that..." Even as I spoke, I remember the scent of her blood on the first day we'd met, how hard I'd had to resist. Actually tasting it...

"It's your decision, Edward. Either way, I can't help you. I have to get this bleeding stopped from her head if you're going to be taking blood from her hand."

My body would not move. I was terrified of accidentally killing her, but petrified even more of losing her. She would not die, I knew, but she would become a vampire, because of him. That was what I feared more than her staying human and living through this and how tormented she would be from it. And then there was no more decision as one anguished word left her angelic lips.

"Edward!"

I could not let her suffer anymore. I heard Carlisle shout something to Alice, but everything in my world blurred, except for Bella. I knew what I had to do. I gently pressed her wrist to my mouth, sinking my razor sharp fangs into the marks already placed, and began to suck.

Her blood, which I imagined to be so sweet, was tainted, and had a bitterness to it. Then the bitterness stopped, and I could taste her pure sweetness mixed with medicine. I pulled back immediately, knowing if I didn't stop then I never would, and promptly spit the blood out. It tasted disgusting, wrong, with the venom.

"Edward?" The weak sound sent a knife through my unmoving heart.

"He's right here, Bella." Carlisle spoke softly, a look of pride on his face directed at me.

"Stay, Edward, stay with me, please...No more..." Bella's voice was a mere simper, repeating my name to bring herself comfort, I assumed.

"I will." I promised, fierce intensity behind my words. Relief was flooding me, and I would've wept with joy if I could. She was going to be okay...

"Is it all out?" Carlisle was talking to me, and I snapped out of my thoughts.

"Her blood tastes clean, I can taste the morphine..." I answered, but as my eyes roamed her covered figure, my thoughts and hopes from a moment ago were shattered. There was so much damage that could have been done that we hadn't inspected yet...

"Bella, is the fire gone?" Carlisle gently asked my love.

"Yes. Thank you, Edward." She murmured, barely conscious. I could tell she was in shock, and the full events that had happened hadn't fully hit her yet. But they would. And I feared that moment.

"I love you." I answered, pressing my lips to her forehead. So much pain she was going to be in, for so long...I couldn't hold back another sob, as she mumbled something to Alice about a tape and knowing her, then fell unconscious. I looked up to where Alice scampered to, and my face contorted in repulsion. Carlisle worked on her leg while Alice attended to the camera, and when he was finished, looked at me sadly.

"Edward, we have to get her to a hospital."

"I know." I refused to take my eyes away from my fallen angel, making sure she was breathing and I could hear her heart. It was still faint as before, but she had stopped shuddering. I knew the physical damage was bad, but the emotional...It was going to be far worse. And how would we explain this to Charlie, and her mother?

"You will have to carry her to the car. Be as gentle as you can."

I tenderly lifted her small frame into my stone arms, holding them perfectly still, and not even looking at her mostly exposed body. Even on the car ride to the hospital, all I did was stare lovingly at her sleeping face, brushing her hair back.

The whole time they tended to her wounds, I paced in the waiting room. When the nurse explained that she had severe vaginal and anal damage, and deep cuts in both her back and sides, I almost fell to my knees in grief, attempting to bite back a sob, but failing. The nurse looked at me kindly. "You may go see her, if you like. She is not awake yet, but when she does awaken...Just be very careful. Sexual assault is very traumatizing, especially since she was untouched before that..."

"I know..." I whispered, raw torment evident in my tone, walking numbly to the room number the nurse gave me. I knew I seemed weak to everyone that laid eyes on me, but I could not bring myself to care. All that mattered was her. Even I was in shock still. The anger had subsided for now, substituted with complete sadness and grief for my Bella. I vowed to find out exactly what had been done to her, and help her in whatever way I could. The anger would come later, when I was alone. But for now, I needed to look after my love.

I sat in the chair right next to her bed, her hand held in mine, awaiting the flutter of her beautiful brown eyes, trying to suppress my sobs at the sight of her bruised and broken body.

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**Authors Note**: Voila. End of chapter one! Angsty, and sad, I know. I tried to get Edward as correct as possible, and I think I did a decent job considering this is my first Twilight fan fiction. I realize that Bella is much more private than this, but you must realize, she's just been extremely traumatized. Will she recover? Read and find out! I have many different twists for this story, and it will continue. and Bella being raped by James is definitely not the only main event. The whole story will not be this sad, I promise. There will be happy parts, and it will be Edward and Bella pairing, of course! Oh, and I know that this had quotes from the actual book Twilight, mixed with my own writing. It just worked with the flow. That will happen much later in the story as well, but only for a certain twist.

**1**.) I realize that Edward would most likely never use the word 'fuck', but in that situation, I think it was acceptable? It was put there to emphasize his complete, utter fury.

Reviews welcomed, and extremely appreciated! Constructive criticism is welcomed, and even ideas! You never know. I think I did a decent job on this, and I would love your opinion as readers. I will try to update as soon as possible. But for right now, I am off to bed. Its one a.m., and I'm dead tired. Night!

-Casey (Lollirot.)


	2. Chapter 2: Tomorrow

Authors Note: So, I'm really excited about this story. I have so many ideas, and I haven't written in a while. I usually get a great idea, write one chapter, and then lose interest. But I recently just went on my old account, and I do read fanfiction myself, so I was inspired to write again! And I was re-reading New Moon, and bam! Idea! It's six o clock a.m. right now, and yet I'm writing, and I just wrote the first chapter last night. I can't help it! I have to go to school in about an hour, and since my internet is not working as of this second I'll try to post the first chapter then. I'm so excited! My muse has returned, finally, after long abandonment. I'll end up posting this chapter after I get some feedback, as to what people think of this story so far. Well, on with the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

"_And I wanna believe you, when you tell me that it'll be okay..._

_Yeah I try to believe you...But I don't,_

_...Not today_

_...I don't know how I feel, _

_I don't know what to say, _

_Tomorrow is a different day..._

_And I try to believe you...Not today._

_Tomorrow it may change."_

-**Tomorrow, by Avril Lavigne.**

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_(Bellas Point of View)_

All I could feel was a the throbbing in my head. I didn't know where I was, or what day it was. My eyes tried to flutter open, only succeeding half way. My vision was blurry, as if my eyes had been closed for a while, and I was looking through fogged up glasses. I faintly saw an outline of a body, before my eyes slipped closed again. I couldn't hold them open.

"Bella?"

I heard my name, but all I noticed was the hand slipping into mine. Touching me.

I freaked out, and started to scream. No. I didn't want to be touched. Not after that. Not ever again.

"Bella! Bella, it's me!" I heard the cry, and started writhing and trying to get away from whoever was in this room with me. I remembered nothing, and no one, but the pain...That horrible, ripping pain, and the rough cold touches. I was aware that I felt a cold something stop touching me, where it had been touching I forgot, and I screamed something...and then it all went black again.

The throbbing was dimmer. My mind began focusing on the last thing I remembered, and my breathing picked up. Was I in that room? Was James still here, had I just passed out for a little while? I was terrified to open my eyes and find out.

"...Bella..." I heard the choked, tentative velvet voice that was so beautiful to me. Edward?

"Edward...?" No. It couldn't be. James had intended to kill me, I must be dead...

"Yes, I'm here, love." Why did his voice sound so broken, so hurt? I opened my eyes half way, and saw my perfect vampire. He was sitting on a chair, at the side of my bed. I assumed he'd put it there, because most of the other chairs were farther away. This one was closer to me, but not touching. Why hadn't he grabbed my hand yet? He had the oddest expression. Like something was hurting him, and he was trying to hide it from me, but was, for once, unsuccessful in doing so. I hated when he looked like that. I hated him in pain. As much pain as I was in, I was trying to not think about it for right now. Not in front of Edward.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice raspy and raw. It hurt a little, when I spoke.

"Nothing." Edward responded, a half smile rising. He was lying, and I knew it. "How do you feel, Bella?" His voice still had that odd, choked sound to it. Something was bothering him, I knew it.

"I feel..." My voice trailed off. How did I feel? Abused. Worthless. Hollow. There were so many words to describe it, that I didn't even know how to explain to him. So I settled for a few words that would sum it up, decently. "Used up."

Edward gasped, horror striking his flawless features. "Bella! How can you think that?"

How could I think that? Because I had had something precious stolen from me, that was meant to be given. That I had hoped, secretly, to someday give to Edward. And now I couldn't. We weren't equal on that level anymore. And that hurt, because that had been the only thing we _were_ equal on. Now...there was nothing. I wasn't the pure, innocent creature he'd thought I was, before. That was stolen. I could never give him anything of importance, now. But I didn't know how to explain that to him without hurting him. So I lowered my eyes to the cast on my leg. As I spoke, I could feel my throat and chest constricting, feel the tears before they rose. No. I would not. Not in front of Edward. I would not let him see how weak I was. But I couldn't stop my lower lip from trembling slightly, and my words came out in a weak, defeated whisper. "Because I can't be what you want now."

A resounding growl was my answer. I closed my eyes, cringing. I'd made him mad. I waited a few seconds, waited for his anger to explode.

It never came. I slowly slid my eyes open, and saw the most tortured look I had ever seen on his face. When he spoke, his voice expressed every ounce of anguish he was feeling. "Bella...how could you even think that? None of this is your fault! You did nothing! Do you honestly believe I'd think less of you because of what-" I flinched, knowing the name that was about to leave his lips. Edward noticed. "..._he_ did to you?"

I was afraid to answer him. "Yes."

"Bella..." He started to reach out his hands, towards my face to cup my cheeks I assumed, but he stopped, looking at me with a question in his eyes.

"What?"

"Can I..." He stopped in the middle of his sentence, looking like he was thinking over something.

"What, Edward?"

He didn't respond with words. Instead, he leaned forward onto the bed, raising his face to mine. I knew what was coming, and closed my eyes.

That was the worst thing I could have possibly done, I realized too late. As soon as his cold lips touched mine, his chilled hands brushed my cheek, I screamed.

I forgot that Edward was in the room. All I could hear, feel, was those cruel, cold hands of the monster who'd destroyed me. The ghost of what it felt like, having him in me, ripping me from the inside out, was what surrounded me.

When my scream was through, I felt the hot tears burning tracks down my cheeks, and I suddenly remembered Edward. My eyes flew open, and I gasped, sitting up. I couldn't see him.

But I heard a dry sob, that sounded like it's producer was trying to be quiet.

"Edward?" I breathed, looking around for him. I couldn't stop my tears, and slight hysterical sobs were building now that I couldn't see him. I needed him. He kept me calm.

"I'm sorry..." His voice was like a whisper on the wind, it was so soft. That tone was back. I couldn't find him.

I started hyperventilating. "Edward, please... I need you, I'm sorry..." I opened my arms. "Come back, please..." My voice cracked on the word 'back'. I felt torn. I wanted him to hold me, comfort me. I needed it.

But at the slightest touch...I felt like it was James.

"I can't..."The ache in his voice broke my heart, and I began sobbing, covering my face with my hands. I felt my shoulders begin to shake, and my tears were such a heavy flow they were spilling down my arms, to my wrist. My bandaged wrist.

"Edward, please...I'm sorry if I'm repulsing to you now, but I promise I'll do anything..." A loud, furious roar was my answer, and I felt a the whoosh of air, and suddenly his hands were on my face again.

"You listen to me, Bella Swan. You do not, and never could, repulse me. I have never wanted nor needed anything or anyone as much as I need and want you. You are the most beautiful, caring and selfless creature I've ever met, and I do not deserve you. You are my soul, Bella. And what that...monster did to you, that _**was not your fault**_. Do you hear me Bella?" His blazing golden eyes pierced mine, glaring down at me while tears flowed steadily down my cheeks. He was sitting right next to me now, facing me. My tears, spilling onto his hands, did not cloud my eyes so much that I missed his intense gaze. His eyes held so much for me to see, and that's what made me believe his words. Because the way he was looking at me as he said them, so fierce, so angry and protective, I knew he meant every word he said. He shook my head ever so softly with his last words. "That was not your fault."

I replied with a sob. Finally, I cracked. I let the pain have me. I fell towards Edward, my safe haven, my protection. I felt his arms circle me as sobs wracked my entire frame, making my ribs hurt. But I just couldn't stop. He began smoothing my hair down, whispering soft words that I couldn't understand because the sound of my own sobs drowned them out, but still his voice comforted me. His arm, locked firmly on my waist, held me on solid ground, so I didn't fall flat into my abyss of heartache. He was my anchor, and I was so grateful to have him. Why had I been afraid to show him my pain before? If anything, he was the only one who could make it go away.

So I let it all out. Horrible, gut wrenching sobs left me, and I buried my face in his black shirt, one handing gripping the collar while the other hooked behind his back.

"That's it, love, let it all out..." He soothed, continuing to pat my hair in the gentlest way. As he spoke, he gently lifted me the slightest bit, just to lay us back on the bed so I was curled on his chest with his back against the raised top of the mattress. His lips pressed into my forehead. "I'm here, Bella. I love you, and I'm right here with you..."

"Don't go..." I cried into his stone chest. My words meant more than they let on. I didn't want him to leave, ever. I could not survive without him.

"No, Bella, I'm here..." His words were sincere, I knew. It soothed me a little. "It will be okay, Bella..." His promise soothed me slightly. But as much as I wanted to believe that, believe him...I couldn't. The pain that I was feeling right now...How could that ever go away? I knew that over time I would heal, but could I feel better tomorrow? I doubted it.

And then, I stopped thinking. The feel of his hand, sliding from my head to under my chin, tilting my head up in the slightest, didn't alarm me. It made my heart pound, as usual. But it wasn't a kiss his lips provided, and after a second I realized what he was doing. He was kissing my tears, following the salty liquid and capturing it with his tongue, pressing his marble lips to the shadows beneath my eyes. My heart swelled with adoration, to the point where it hurt. I tilted my head up more, looking into his eyes.

His penetrating gaze bore into me, making my stomach flutter. Hesitance was apparent in his eyes, as he searched mine for permission. He must've found what he was looking for, because he slowly, cautiously, lowered his face to mine. Our lips met in the gentlest of kisses, and after a few seconds, my eyes slipped closed, the image of my beautiful Edward, the hard, angry, lovely look he'd had in his eyes just before, lingering in my thoughts, allowing me to be strong. For now.

* * *

(_Edwards Point of View)_

My heart was slowly, painfully breaking. Why did this happen to her? Bella didn't deserve this. No one did. Especially someone as pure as she.

But that was just the problem, wasn't it? She was pure, I was not. If I'd just left her alone...If I'd just left her alone, this wouldn't have happened. She would've never been exposed to vampires, and never would've been...

I forced myself to say the word. Raped. My Bella had been raped, by one of my kind. And it killed me.

But nothing could hurt me worse than her pain, and she was breaking down right now. I shoved my thoughts aside, focusing on her. I gently played with her long mahogany locks, inhaling the scent of her as I did. It burned my throat slightly, and made my eyes, which had already been darkened with thirst, turn onyx. I needed to feed. But I refused to leave her side. Her small body was still shaking against mine, sobbing. I held her to my body, playing with her hair and every now and then kissing the crown of her head. Her hysterics had slowed somewhat, and she was now just weeping, her warm body curled into mine, her slender hands clutching onto my black shirt. I just held her. I was at a complete, and total lost for words. What could I say to make her pain cease? Nothing. All I could do was show her that I'm here, and I love her. No matter what. My heart, unmoving as it may be, was breaking more and more every second. I hated to see her like this. I kissed her forehead, moving one hand to her cheek and stroking it gently, soothingly. I whispered my love for her, and eventually she drifted off to sleep, leaving my to my thoughts.

What had happened earlier? I figured she would be jumpy as far as being touched, but she'd shown me she wanted to feel my touch. But then when I had kissed her, the first time...She closed her eyes before I did and then screamed. Was it that my skin was cold and hard, just like his had been? But I had kissed her just a few moments ago, and she responded to that positively. What had changed? What had I done the second time that I would have to continue to do?

I couldn't figure it out. And it irked me.

I sighed, moving my eyes down to my sleeping love. Her face, even in sleep, was a bit timid, peaceful as it was. Frowning, my hand rose to cup her cheek again, stroking it once more. Her warmth sunk into my cold skin, making me want to shiver. I would never get used to that, never get tired of it.

My frown increased as I remembered what she had said, what she had thought. She had thought I wouldn't want her anymore because of what had been done to her. That pained me. I understood how she could think that, thinking that she had less value now. But not to me, she didn't. She was still my beautiful Bella, and if anything, I'm going to help her through this, no matter what it takes. It's my fault, after all.

I just hoped that she would heal, eventually. And if she didn't...

I didn't even want to think about that, so I shoved those thoughts aside as well. I watched her, her chest rising and falling with her breath. Her heartbeat slow and steady in my ears. It brought me slight comfort that she was, if not anything else, steadily having a strong heart beat. She had terrified me at that room with the mirrors, as her heart beat had been slow and weakening. I glanced down, seeing the bite wound in her wrist.

He'd bitten her. That bothered me immensely, especially since she'd now have a scar to remind her of how dangerous it was to have me in her life. But...I just couldn't stay away from her. She intrigued me so, the stupid masochist that I was. I needed her now, for me to exist. She was my everything. As I'd said to her before...she was my life, now.

I knew I would have to be extra careful around her now. But I didn't mind. Whatever it took, to make her happy...To make her better. I would do it.

My thoughts wandered back to how I'd sucked James' venom out of her bloodstream. I was amazed at myself, at the fact that I'd done it. I'd pulled away from her sweet siren blood... But I understood how I'd done it. I loved her too much. And I couldn't lose her. Especially not like that. If I'd only been one moment later, and had been unsuccessful in prying James from her in time...She would have been dead moments later. Surely, James did not have enough self control to stop, to turn her. I was so unbelievably joyous that I'd made it in time. Broken as she was now, at least she is alive. She might not be able to deal with it today, and she definitely was not alright. But...could she be? In time? Could she wake up tomorrow, and be able to deal with this a little more?

I didn't know exactly how to help her deal with this. And I knew I would be terrified to touch her, but confused, because it seemed like she had wanted me to. I would just have to assess the situation, and watch my actions carefully.

I heard soft movement, and looked up to see Carlisle standing in the room. Even though he didn't work at this hospital, he had Bella's chart in his hands, assessing it. "Well Edward, it seems like she'll heal alright. As long as she does what she told, and takes it easy on her body for a while. She should be released in about two weeks, if she's ready."

I nodded at my father. I was grateful for everything he'd done, back at the dance building. And I wanted to be able to stand in front of him and show him my gratitude, but with Bella nestled comfortably in my arms, that wasn't an option. "Carlisle...Thank you. For what you did."

His eyes left her chart, meeting mine with a warm glint in them, and a soft smile played his lips. "Of course, Edward. She is a part of the family now. How could I not have tried to save her? But you, son...I'm proud of you."

My throat tightened, but not in a bad way. Hearing those words made me swell with pride. I'd made my father proud. I nodded at him, but I couldn't quite bring a smile, so I tried to show him how much his words meant to me with my eyes.

"Edward, you need to hunt. Your eyes are fully black, and it's dangerous for you to be around her when you're like that." Carlisle pointed out, with nothing but honestly in his voice. He didn't think I was a monster that would suddenly lose control and drain her dry...He just didn't want me suffering, with that sweet, delicious scent so near.

"I will hunt, when she is out of here." I answered. Carlisle nodded. He knew there was no point arguing with me. I would not leave her side for anything. He didn't say anything else, but instead exited the room, leaving me with Bella, and to my own thoughts.

I pressed my hard, cool lips to her forehead, my eyes closing. I vowed to myself that I would never let anything harm her. Never again.

* * *

Authors Note: Hey all! Sorry it's taken so long to update. Muse went away, but she's back now It was difficult writing Edwards POV for this chapter, and it's shorter than it was in the first chapter, but I figured that was a good way to end the chapter. Next chapter will be farther ahead a bit, but still decently close. Thank you, to all of you who review and have added this story to your alerts/favorites. I'm trying very had to get this story correct, and keep the characters...well, in character. So, next chapter soon! Reviews HIGHLY appreciated, and if anyone has any suggestions of ideas, feel free to speak up!

-Lollirot.


	3. Chapter 3: Haunted

Authors Note: I'm sorry. X.x It's taken forever to get into this stories 'state of mind', as I call it. I've been ridiculously busy lately, between my friends and boyfriend, work, and my other stories, but I've been writing a lot lately. I'm now balancing six fanfictions. Ridiculous, right? I've been so stressed that I wouldn't live up to everyone's expectations for Suicide Girl I haven't had time to write this, or my other previous Harry Potter story, but I think it's about damn time my readers for this story got an update. So here it is. It will probably be a decent length.

Reviews make me happy, keep them coming! And thanks to all who've favorited any of my stories, reviewed them, alerted them or favorited/alerted me!

* * *

_(__Bella's Point of View_)

After a week or so in the hospital, I was so ready to get out of here it was making me anxious.

The hospital in Phoenix had flown me back to Forks, and I had been confined to this ungodly white room ever since. Edward was trying to help as much as he could, and barely ever left my side. I don't think he'd left this awful hospital once since I was admitted, but I was grateful for that. My golden eyed angel was the only thing keeping me sane, right now.

There was a tray of food balancing on a makeshift table of my thighs, and I held the fork in my hand, idly poking the small tray of corn that looked too soggy, mashed potatoes that were still lumpy, and a Salisbury steak that looked like it would fall to crumbs the second it was lifted. Hospital food. I hadn't taken one single bite as of yet.

Edward, sitting silently beside my bed with a bag full of things he had been attempting to entertain me with from the gift shop, frowned. "Bella, please eat."

I didn't raise my eyes to his, but took a stab at the mysterious meat. "I'm not hungry..."

His cool hand slid to my cheek, forcing me to look at him. "Love, you must eat. You've been picking at your food all week, and I don't think you've taken ten full bites of any meal." His tone held disapproval, and I knew he was just worried for me.

I sighed, and dropped my fork. "It's hospital food, Edward. It's repulsing."

Slight hope lit up his features at that. "If I smuggle in outside food, will you eat it?"

"Edward..."

"For me? Please, Bella?" Concern shone in his eyes, making mine drop guiltily to my blanket covered feet. "You need proper nourishment."

My arms crossed protectively over my stomach. "I have the I.V., it's providing plenty of nutrients, and I'm just not hungry."

His face fell, and his hand rose to pinch the bridge of his nose. I frowned. I knew I was being a burden to him lately, and that I was disappointing him. He'd bee trying so hard for the past week to make me feel at ease, to help me in any way he could, and the lavender circles under his eyes had grown even darker. It saddened me to know I was the cause of it, but I couldn't help the things he was stressing over. I just had lost my appetite lately. I'd dropped about five pounds or so, and I knew that worried him as well. He'd been going out of his way constantly, running here and there if I even mentioned something, and I felt horrible for not being more appreciative and giving him some small semblance of what he wanted.

I picked up the discarded fork, and forced a bite of the mashed potatoes into my mouth. I chewed slowly. It tasted like cardboard, and my mouth felt so dry I had to take a sip of the water on the tray just to be able to swallow. I took a few more bites, forcing myself to consume at least half of what was on the tray, before reaching the meat. "There. But I am not eating that unknown mystery meat."

I was rewarded with that beloved crooked smile, and I offered a small, shy one in return. It felt odd to smile.

Because I wasn't happy. My leg was in a huge cast, my wrist was bandaged, and between the legs I wasn't in too great of shape either. I'd begun to heal, slowly. But while Edward had been in the cafeteria getting me food a few days ago, I'd read one of the rape pamphlets the nurses gave me. Most rape victims end up severely, and permanently injured, or killed. I was lucky enough to have a vampire boyfriend that came to my rescue. Unfortunately, it also happened to be a vampire that committed that disgusting, degrading act against my body, which meant that the internal damage was far worse than any mortal could have caused. Renee had broke into tears, when the doctor told me that I was now unable to have children. Edward had just hung his head in shame, and covered his face with his hand. But I noticed how his shoulders shook with his silent, dry sobs.

Being barren didn't bother me too much, since the only man whose children I would ever want to bear was incapable of reproducing. It just hurt to know that even if by some impossible way I could ever have a child, now the ability wasn't even there. I had too much scar tissue on the inside, the doctor had said, and there was too much that had been torn and broken. The pamphlet had said over half of rape victims end up barren, though. The internal damage was just too much.

Edward would have destroyed it if he saw it, not wanting to remind me of the tragedy he thought would shatter me into pieces.

I wasn't going to shatter. I was in absolutely no way okay, but I would not break down again like I had in Edwards arms when I had first regained consciousness. I didn't want him seeing me so weak. He had shown nothing but love and adoration this whole time, but I didn't want to risk it. I couldn't lose him.

I hadn't felt the urge to cry since my break down, though. The doctors say I'm in shock, but I know what's really going on.

I've lost almost all feeling in me. I've become numb. So numb, that when my mother kissed me and wept for the loss of my could have been children, I had just sat there. Unfeeling.

I've become like a robot. And I loathed James for that.

The one exception to my numbness was the beautiful, perfect creature sitting mere feet from me.

He took my silence as concentration while I ate, and waited until I put the fork down to speak.

He dug through the burgundy back pack hopefully, pulling out a few books. "I bought some books for you. I figured they might help pass the time."

At least I felt a little bit of excitement over the fact that there was a copy of Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, and some Shakespeare novels. But when his words registered, my lips turned down once more. "Edward, you know I don't like it when you spend -"

"Hush, love." He interrupted. "I will do anything and everything to make this stay a little more bearable for you, do you understand?" His words were firm, but his tone was soft. I nodded. "Good." And with that, he moved to lay beside me on the bed, cradling my body to his. I sighed contentedly, resting my head against his solid chest as his fingers ran through my hair.

I learned that if I kept my eyes open, I didn't freak out.

So I kept my eyes open, and we laid like that in a comfortable silence until Edward stiffed, and gently untangled his limbs from mine. "What?" I asked.

"Your father." He responded, moving to the chair he should have been occupying.

Charlie entered a moment later, his curly brown hair more messy and untidy than usual. He had purple circles under his eyes that could compete with Edward's, and he looked a bit thinner.

"Hey, Dad." I greeted awkwardly. I hated the fact that he knew what had happened to me.

We had told Charlie that on my way to my mother's house, I'd taken a short cut through a dark alley, and a stranger had intercepted me and forced himself on me. It was partially truthful. But it was mortifying that Charlie know I'd been... I still couldn't say the word.

"Hey, kiddo." He replied, walking to me and kissing my forehead, making me feel even more ill at ease. Charlie and I had never been big on showing affection for each other. Glancing at Edward, he mumbled hello. Charlie looked at him pointedly, as if Edward should have realized something by now.

Edward, who obviously knew what Charlie wanted since he could hear his thoughts, looked at me with a pained expression, and I understood. Charlie wanted him to leave. And he didn't want to leave my side.

I reached out, placing my hand upon his own. "It's fine, Edward. You've been by my side for almost a week straight. Go home. See your family." My eyes glinted, and I carefully chose my next word so that Charlie wouldn't think twice, but Edward would understand. "Eat."

His eyes were pitch black, and the bruises under his eyes were beginning to look frightening. He held my gaze for a few moments, before sighing in defeat. He nodded reluctantly, and leaned towards me, pressing his lips gently against my forehead as Charlie had done only moments before, but this was much better. This held so much emotion, so much love... And when he pulled back, his eyes held that same emotion. Pure, unconditional love. He squeezed my hand gently, before kissing my knuckles.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. Call me when you want me to return love, promise?" He whispered in adoration, eyes begging me to agree. I nodded, and gave him a weak, watery smile.

Pain glinted in his onyx eyes once more, as he nodded in farewell to Charlie, exiting the room, leaving me alone to chat with my father.

Charlie shifted uncomfortably, taking a seat in the chair Edward had preoccupied only moments before. "So, Bella...How...How are you doing?"'

I sighed. "Charlie, I know this is hard for you. I know you don't know what to say, because I don't know what to say to myself."

My father's forehead crinkled in concern. "Kid, we'll get through this..."

"I know, Charlie." My head turned, staring out the window into the bright stars beyond, missing my Edward, my sweet distraction, already. "I know."

* * *

(_Edwards POV_)

My chest ached, quite literally, as my feet blindly carried me outside. I moved quickly to the shelter of a tree, and flitted through the forest faster than any mortal eye could comprehend.

I hated the fact that I left her.

I wanted to be there for her, every single moment she needed me. And I knew, that even though her father was there, she did, indeed, need me. But alas, she had asked me to leave, and I would do so upon her request.

I was amazed at myself for having not fed, and still leaving Bella alive. The hungrier I was, the more difficult it was to be around her, with her blood singing such a beautiful tune. But after seeing her, crushed as she was, my entire being was terrified of hurting her anymore that she already had been.

My sensitive sense of smell picked up on a pack of deer a mere half a mile away, and I moved quickly, body quivering in anticipation. I was on the leader before any of them knew what was happening. Snapping the innocent creatures neck to prevent it the pain, I drained it dry within a matter of seconds. It was no where near as succulent as human blood, and nothing would ever compare to the glorious taste of Bella's rich life fluid. Tainted as it had been, it was still the most magnificent thing to ever contact my taste buds.

I pounced on the nearest fleeing deer, repeating my actions, and then continuing my predation on two more deer until I felt satisfied. Normally, it wouldn't take this much to sustain me, but it has been almost two weeks since I've fed, and I've been around Bella frequently.

Bella...

My chest clenched once more as I thought of my love. But I tried my damnedest to distract myself with other thoughts, lest I run back to the hospital and disregard her orders. I headed quickly back to the house, it was time for a change of clothes anyhow.

I arrived, stealthily going into my bedroom and slipping out of my clothes. I grabbed a change, and entered the bathroom, turning on the shower. I made the temperature at hot as I could stand, and stood under the pounding stream of water. The pressure did nothing to help my tense body, but the warmth itself did help. After a few long minutes, my tension slowly seeped out, and I just simply stood there for a few moments.

I rested my palm against the heated, slick marble and pressed my forehead against my inner elbow and I felt the water droplets cascading down my spine. I could feel every single one.

When I felt the water turn lukewarm, I squeezed unscented shampoo into my hands, lathering up my hair and repeating my actions, but with conditioner. After cleaning the rest of my body with mutually unscented body wash and a loofah, I rinsed the soap off, and reached over to turn the faucet. The stream of water ceased, and I opened the glass door to the ostentatious shower, stepping out into the steam.

I snatched a fluffy, white towel off it's hanger, wrapping it loosely around my hips and going to the mirror. My cool hands easily wiped the steam off of the mirror, and I stared directly into my own reflection.

Though my eyes were now a warm topaz once again, the dark bruise underneath them remained. And something inside of myself told me they would not be disappearing anytime soon.

While staring at myself, along with the dull buzz of my family's that I tuned out, berating thoughts entered my mind. I had let him get her. I hadn't moved fast enough, I could have stopped him...

I shouldn't have left her side.

I should have gone with her instead of Jasper.

I should have just left her alone. Maybe if I had just never been in her life, or if we hadn't fallen in love, she wouldn't be an upset, terrified shell right now...

Maybe then she wouldn't be so broken.

I turned, disgusted by my own reflection, and exited the wash room, going down the hall to my bedroom and digging through my dressers. I slipped on a pair of loose fitting black denim pants, and a comfortable grey long sleeved shirt. I glanced in the mirror on my way out, shaking my head a bit to rid my hair of the dampness still clinging to it.

On my way down the steps, I heard someone call out softly from the main room.

"Edward."

If it was anyone else, I would have ignored it.

"Yes, Alice?" I asked in an emotionless voice, changing my path from the door to the main room. I saw Alice sitting on the couch, staring with wide eyes at me.

"You're home... We haven't seen you all week." She simply stated.

"I know. I've been-"

"We know where you've been, Edward. And we have no objections, but I think you could use me right now. You have to be dying of frustration. I've been keeping an eye on her too, you know." She murmured quietly, as if she thought I'd be angry about that.

"That's quite nice of you, Alice." I answered, sitting on the couch beside her but leaving comfortable space there.

"I know you're not much of a talker Edward, but...Everyone else has gone out to hunt. It's just me here. I know how Bella hasn't been eating and how..." Alice seemed unable to find the right word. "Hollow she's been. And I know you can't be alright with that."

"Of course not." I responded, pinching the bridge of my nose. I seemed to be doing that quite often lately. She was right. Normally, I wasn't a very talkative, let's talk about my emotions type of guy. But Bella had done a number on me since the day we met, and I found myself needing to speak with someone, and Alice was probably the best person. "But really, what can I do? Nothing I'm doing is working, Alice...I don't know how to act. I wish...I wish I could just hear her thoughts..."

"Maybe...Maybe we should have Rose talk to her?"

I growled, eyes flashing to my sister. As if that would turn out pleasant. "No."

Alice held up her hands in surrender. "Just an idea."

After that, a tense silence surrounded us for a few seconds, before I finally released the dam that was holding myself back from hearing others' thoughts. Everyone else was quite far away so I couldn't hear them, but Alice...

Alice was deeply confused.

'_Should I tell him? Is it selfish of me to want to help, and to share this information with him? I need to tell someone other than Jasper...But Edward's going through so much right now, and I don't know how he'll react..._'

I sighed. "Alice, tell me what's on your mind."

She looked pensive for a moment, before giving in. "I watched that tape."

My unnecessary breath caught, and my eyes closed. "And..."

"And...I found out a little about myself. My name was Mary Alice Brandon, and the reason I don't remember anything was because for the last years of my life, I was in a mental institution."

My eyes widened in horror. "No."

She nodded solemnly. "Yes. I had a sister, she was younger than me. I had a mother and a father as well, but they put me in there...And I don't know why." She stared at the table, oddly quiet.

"Alice..." I didn't quite know what to say to that. "I'm so sorry..."

She shrugged. "At least now I know."

My throat muscles tensed up, and I was slightly afraid to speak the words that wanted to spill from my lips, but I knew I must. "How was...the rest of the tape?"

Alice winced, and she looked at me. "Brutal."

A fleeting thought ran through my head, and Alice's expression became horrified. "Oh Edward, no! Don't watch it! That will only be-"

I cut her off, though from the look of defeat now passing her features she knew it was futile. "Alice, I have to. She won't tell me exactly, what happened, what he...What he did to her. And she never will...I need to know." My tone was firm, and Alice sighed defeatedly.

"This won't end well for you. You're going to hurt yourself, you know."

I squared my shoulders. "I figured as much. But I _have_ to know, Alice."

She hesitated only for one moment, before sighing in resign once more, and reaching in her back pocket to pull out a small tape, placing it in my hand.

* * *

Authors Note;; I was debating on whether to end it there or not, ow show Edward watching the tape. But that awaits you for the next chapter! I needed to give you guys an update on fanfiction dot net, it's been forever. Hope you enjoyed!

The fangirl within took over while Edward was in the shower, sorry! xD

Please review! I think the reason I haven't focused on this story as much was that it didn't get as much of a positive and loving response as some of my others.

To be continued!

-LollirotXoX


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